Decoding Female Behavior 101

couple-flirting-while-drinking-wine

Playing games: it’s always been a part of dating, and winning it means getting inside her head.

However, the one thing we have going against us is the male tendency to see things that aren’t always there, such as attraction. Figuring out whether she’s interested in you or not can be a tricky deal, but there are a few tricks to help you crack her cryptic ways.

She Doesn’t Want to Look Too Eager

Let’s face it – we’re guilty of this behavior too. Like us, women don’t want to give the impression that they have nothing going for them other than waiting for the next guy to come along.

She has a happening life, and by making herself unavailable from time to time (e.g. “I’ll be swamped with work this weekend”, “I’d love to, but my yoga class got moved to Tuesday…”), she’ll trigger your desire to chase her all the more.

It’s the “You want what you can’t have” principle in effect here. And it keeps her from looking needy.

If you want to know if she’s still in the game, ask her out a few times – but never on short notice.

Let her know a few days in advance that you want to take her out so she knows you’re not just treating her as a backup.

Be on the lookout if she’s giving you signs of hope. If she agrees in spite of her busy schedule, then things are going well.

But if she keeps making excuses even after you’ve planned ahead, then take it as a “no.”

Radio Silence

Maybe you sent her a funny SMS the other day and you haven’t heard from her at all. Now you’re wondering, “Did she drop off the face of the Earth?”

Relax. This could still be part of her anti-neediness plan, so play it by ear.

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How To Make Her Want You Without Trying

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If you’re like most guys interested in attracting girls, you probably think that changing a woman’s thoughts about you is pretty much impossible.

For instance, pretty much all the attractive women are going to assume that any guy who approaches them are going to hit on them or act in a pathetic “I-like-you-please-like-me-back” kind of way.

So that means you’ve already got your work cut out for you and convince her you’re not THAT guy. How do you get her to think otherwise about you?

In the movie Inception, one of the goals of the main character was to plant an idea in the head of important people, like a CEO of a major corporation, to influence events to their advantage. He did this by literally hacking into that person’s mind to make him think or feel in a certain way.

In the real world of course, this isn’t possible – and even if it were, it would be creepy and unethical to convince someone this way.

However, you can still get a woman to set you apart from other guys by making subtle but powerful suggestions in her head.

You can’t convince her by walking up to her and saying, “Hey, I’m totally not like those other men who you’ve shot down before…I’m not going to tell you how hot you are or buy you a drink – I’m different.”

It doesn’t work like that. You can’t convince a girl you’re a high quality guy with your words; only your actions can do that.

To make her less defensive around you, you need to act like an attractive guy. And the first way to do that is by learning the basics of attractive body language.

What you are on the outside can help give her an idea of who you are on the inside. Do your homework on the subject and learn how to convey your attractive personality through the right gestures and motions.

Aside from that, the most powerful way you can change a woman’s reality is by avoiding all the supplicating, needy behavior that she’s seen from other men. You know, complimenting her on something obvious like her looks or going through the predictable chit-chat that she’s learned to tune out.

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Race and Attraction, 2009 – 2014

We looked at race in one of our very first posts, and today I’d like to revisit the topic with fresh data. This article folds in millions of person-to-person interactions, what one human being thinks of another. As such, it’s different from a look at, say, unemployment numbers or test scores. So much data on […]

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Help, She’s Being Mean: How to Get Rid of Your Inner Crybaby

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Here’s an email from a reader that I think a lot of other guys can relate to:

“Hey Carlos, I’ve been going through your course which is really powerful stuff. But a lot of women…I mean a lot! …always give me this cold treatment routine which I’m getting sick of. I always see the same thing…she’s just sitting there and not making eye contact like I’m talking to a wall…or if she does talk it’s always some nasty comment to make me go away. I want to be this cool and fun guy they want to hang out with but I get pissed off when I get rejected and I barely said anything yet! I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.”

Here’s my reply:

Thanks for writing in. Let me answer your email by telling you that one of the first things I teach guys about attracting women is to NOT care.

I’m not saying you should screw up on purpose, but you shouldn’t let the possibility of failing paralyze you.

So what if she’s being rude or bitchy? Should you let that faze you in any way?

Look, I know it’s impossible not to feel anything, and I’m not asking you to. What you should understand though is that your feelings are not part of the experience.

Put them away in a little compartment, leave it at the door and pick it up on your way home. In the meantime, suck it up and power through her barrier.

Remember, your heart racing and adrenaline pumping is your body’s primitive survival mechanism to protect you from danger – whether it’s real or not.

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