Race and Attraction, 2009 – 2014

We looked at race in one of our very first posts, and today I’d like to revisit the topic with fresh data. This article folds in millions of person-to-person interactions, what one human being thinks of another. As such, it’s different from a look at, say, unemployment numbers or test scores. So much data on […]

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Help, She’s Being Mean: How to Get Rid of Your Inner Crybaby

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Here’s an email from a reader that I think a lot of other guys can relate to:

“Hey Carlos, I’ve been going through your course which is really powerful stuff. But a lot of women…I mean a lot! …always give me this cold treatment routine which I’m getting sick of. I always see the same thing…she’s just sitting there and not making eye contact like I’m talking to a wall…or if she does talk it’s always some nasty comment to make me go away. I want to be this cool and fun guy they want to hang out with but I get pissed off when I get rejected and I barely said anything yet! I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.”

Here’s my reply:

Thanks for writing in. Let me answer your email by telling you that one of the first things I teach guys about attracting women is to NOT care.

I’m not saying you should screw up on purpose, but you shouldn’t let the possibility of failing paralyze you.

So what if she’s being rude or bitchy? Should you let that faze you in any way?

Look, I know it’s impossible not to feel anything, and I’m not asking you to. What you should understand though is that your feelings are not part of the experience.

Put them away in a little compartment, leave it at the door and pick it up on your way home. In the meantime, suck it up and power through her barrier.

Remember, your heart racing and adrenaline pumping is your body’s primitive survival mechanism to protect you from danger – whether it’s real or not.

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